Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
