they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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