its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
