you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
