i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
