The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
