You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
