Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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