Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
