We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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