that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
