Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm too high and old for this...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
