i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
