i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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