the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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