You can't motorboat a personality
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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