That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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