Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My vagina just clenched in fear
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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