a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
