We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
