We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We left an ass print on the piano.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
