The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
