hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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