The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
