Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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