I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
