They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
