At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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