Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
