Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
