my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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