funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
