I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't deserve a penis
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
