You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
