dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
