Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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