That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
