RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
