I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
