the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
