Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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