How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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