is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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