sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
