so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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