Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
