thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
