I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
