I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
