There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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