Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
