And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
