; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
