so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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