Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
