JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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