Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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