And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
