i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
as a side note pls kill me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize